Day 41: What God Wants

Bertram Mackennal [Public domain]

Psalm 51:16-17

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁶ You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
    You do not want a burnt offering.
¹⁷ The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
    You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

***

This is really a continuation of yesterday. Whereas yesterday I just assumed that perhaps David was inspired to write that psalm after he had committed adultery with Bathsheba, this Psalm really is. Preceding the words of the Psalm are directions for the choir director, and describes this as being specifically about that sinful period in his life.

I think the easiest trap for us to fall into is thinking that God is only some passive, benevolent spirit in the sky that is quick to forgive when we pay a little lip-service to Him. While He is loving, patient, and forgiving, He's also a just God, and He makes His justice known, even to His own children. The consequences of our actions can bring disastrous results, and God isn't one to let us off the hook easily. He wants us to learn from our experiences, and the lessons He teaches aren't easy ones.

How often do we plea with God for this or that, making our requests known, and then like an afterthought, we remember to say "oh yeah, while I'm at it, will you forgive me of all my sins?" I hope I'm not the only one who has been guilty of that. Or maybe we rush through it at the beginning of our prayer; "Oh Lord, please forgive me for having done such-and-such today. Now will you help me out with this?"

David understood what God really wanted from us. In a time when animal sacrifices were required for just about everything, including to cover sins (because the Lamb of God had not yet come to bear that burden), David knew that what God wanted even more than an adherence to the laws of sacrifice was sincerity.

God doesn't want us to flippantly ask forgiveness as though it were something to mark off our to-do list. He wants us to be broken, naked, and deeply sorrowful before Him. Ok, now I don't mean "naked" as in "nude", despite the imagery, I mean He wants us to be totally transparent, not trying to hide anything from his sight or to cover any of our actions with excuses.

We should learn from David's example. He was on his knees before God, begging for His mercy and compassion. He pleaded with God not only to erase the stain of his sin, but to cleanse him of his guilt and purify him from it. He owns up to what he's done, and is so sorry for his actions that he says it haunts him day and night! He can't get it out of his head how he took another man's wife, and then plotted to ensure that the wronged man would be killed in battle. He knew that Uriah's blood was on his hands, and He specifically asks God to forgive him for that. He accepts that God's judgment against him is just, and that he has deserved the price he has paid. Do you remember what that price was? His sin cost him the life of his child. And the consequences of his actions didn't just affect him. Imagine what Bathsheba must have been going through! Sure, she had moved into the palace after losing her husband, but now she had lost her child! She must have felt a lot of resentment towards her new husband, the king. Don't ya think?

As David prayed, he got it. He knew that burning a sacrifice, although required by law, really wasn't good enough. He understood that what would please God far more than going through the motions was for him to offer himself, his own broken spirit and his own broken heart, as his sacrifice. And that is exactly what he offered, knowing that God would accept such an offering and restore David to the joy of his salvation. He wasn't asking that God would simply let him be happy again, He was asking that God would restore his happiness with the kind of joy that comes only from God, through obedience to God.

That is the manner in which we should pray. We screw up daily, so many times that we can't even keep track. Most of the times we don't even acknowledge the things that we do to offend God, because they're so habitual that we don't recognize them as being wrong. But they pile up around us, creating clutter and chaos in our spiritual lives (even if we don't claim to have one) until we completely break down emotionally. 

The only one who can, or will, pull us out of the quicksand is God. And until we are truly, deeply sorry for having strolled into the quagmire in the first place, God's going to let us keep sinking. Things will never get better until we come before God, broken in spirit, and offer ourselves to Him.

Isn't it time?

Day 40: It's My Life (...and Yours)

Jonathan Billinger [CC-BY-SA-2.0]

Psalm 32:5

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁵ Finally, I confessed all my sins to you
    and stopped trying to hide my guilt.
I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”
    And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. 

Psalm 32:8-9

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁸ The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
    I will advise you and watch over you.
⁹ Do not be like a senseless horse or mule
    that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”

***

Oh, how this psalm seems to reflect to my life! That's the beauty of it, for me.   I can read this psalm, written thousands of years ago by some shepherd-boy-turned-king, and feel like we have so much in common! I wonder what life experience, what rebellion, David was thinking of when he wrote it. The worst thing I can think of that could have inspired this was when he got Bathsheba pregnant and then set her husband up to be killed so that her infidelity wouldn't be found out. 

That's really pretty bad, and I don't think I could top it, but I can sure relate to it. There was a time in my own life when I had found myself in a similar predicament as David's mistress. Nobody plotted the death of my then-husband, though. No, he's still alive and well. 

God didn't let David off the hook for that. I can only imagine that he tried to ignore God for as long as he could. Nobody wants to feel conviction when they're passionate about their disobedience, and if Bathsheba was his disobedience, he certainly was passionate about her! 

How that speaks of the human condition! Aren't we all like that? Even if we love God with all our heart, when we are seduced away from a right relationship with Him, we get so caught up in the enjoyment of our sin that we just don't want to hear that what we are doing is wrong!

Sooner or later, though, we have to face the music. David sure did. The penalty for committing adultery, then having Uriah killed so that he could marry his lover, was the death of their son. I'm not sure that's what this psalm is about, but I do know that David spent a lot of time on his knees while his infant boy was struggling for life. And I know that later, David enjoyed a renewed relationship with God that can only come from true repentance. In this case, I'm guessing David's rebellion probably lasted all of a year. Oh, I wish mine had been so short-lived. It took me more like a decade.

Once back on track spiritually, God took control of David's life, just as He took control of mine, and just as He will take control of anybody's life who is willing to relinquish their own stubborn will. It's amazing how we always think we can manage our lives just fine, and how far unmanageable our lives become before we realize that we've strolled too far off  the right path. But once we repent and get back in line, we discover what we should have already known... that life is so much easier when we're living for God! There really is true freedom in that. 

We may think we can do better for ourselves than God can, but we can't. Since I have assumed that the sin that brought David to pen this psalm was sexual in nature, I'm going to be bold enough to point out one of the most common misconceptions about our ability to choose for ourselves.

Myth: 
"I can't possibly consider marriage to someone I haven't slept with, because I might get stuck with someone I'm not sexually compatible with." 

Fact: 
God knows everything about us... including what we enjoy physically. Think about it. God created us to be sexual people. He created intimacy between a husband and wife to be a special, wonderful gift! He didn't intend for sex to just be utilitarian. He wants it to be pleasurable, and there is plenty of scripture to back that claim up. So why on earth would anyone think that God wouldn't make sure that any mate that HE was allowed to choose for us would be unsatisfactory in that way? On the contrary, if we were to all live for God and give Him control of selecting our mates, we'd discover the true potential of God's gift to us, and it would be a mind-blowing experience every time.


If we will just trust God to bring us His very best in our lives, we will never, ever be disappointed with the results.

Now, I have to apologize to my mother in case she's offended by reading this. And to anyone else who might wonder how on earth I took a psalm of repentance and restoration and turned it into a lecture on sexual misconduct. Honestly, I don't know. It wasn't what I had in mind when I started writing, but it's what I ended up with. Maybe God knew that someone reading this needed to hear it. I'd sure like to think that even now, I'd allowed God to direct my thoughts, and given Him control over my keyboard.

Day 39: Praising Him FOR This Storm

Dust-Devil/Whirl-Wind by NASA (Public Domain)

Job 36:15-17

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁵ But by means of their suffering, he rescues those who suffer.
    For he gets their attention through adversity.

¹⁶ “God is leading you away from danger, Job,
    to a place free from distress.
    He is setting your table with the best food.
¹⁷ But you are obsessed with whether the godless will be judged.
    Don’t worry, judgment and justice will be upheld.

***

Everyone seems to have had their opportunity to criticize Job. His three friends had been with him for a week, sitting in silence, before they started putting him down. Finally, after all their accusations against him as they tried to come up with some great sin that Job must have committed, they got fed up with his continual claims of innocence and just quit talking all together. They probably did a fair share of eye rolling, but they weren't speaking to him anymore. 

But there was one guy who hadn't said his piece yet. Elihu had sat quietly all this time letting his elders do all the speaking. Elihu was the son of Barakel the Buzite, from the clan of Ram. Not that I've ever heard of him, or his dad, or the Buzites, or the clan of Ram, but then again, nobody knows where Uz is, either. I guess if you were hanging out with Job, you'd know these things, and it must have been significant at the time, because that information is in the story.

After listening to these three older men go at each other for so long, Elihu was ready to explode. He'd decided that age must have nothing to do with wisdom, because all three of Job's friends were about as dumb as rocks. No matter how many times they went in circles, they couldn't pinpoint Job's sin, couldn't defend God against Job's accusations, and couldn't answer the questions that Job had defiantly asked.

Elihu speaks: Ok, listen up.  I've always thought that wisdom comes with age, but after listening to you guys go at it for so long, I've decided that age is irrelevant, and wisdom comes from the spirit of God that lives within people, and you old folks just aren't using the sense the good Lord gave you. So it's my turn now, and I'm not going to kiss up to any of you.  

You first, Job. I've had about enough of your complaining, but I'll still try not to be too rough on you. But man, you keep saying you're pure, you're innocent, you're sinless, and that God's just picking on you because He hates you. But you're wrong! You think God's not listening to you, but God speaks all the time, and people just don't listen to Him! You think your suffering is incurable and undeserved, and you've thrown a tantrum of epic proportions without reaching a point of submission. You ask why you should waste your time trying to please God instead of telling God "I'm sorry for what I've done". And if you don't know what you've done, asking Him to show you, so that you can stop!

God treats people the way they deserve to be treated, and frankly, your disrespectful attitude towards Him doesn't earn you any favors. Whatever your sin against Him was, you've made it worse with your rebellion and lack of respect for Him. God hears the cries of the needy! But if He chooses to remain silent, who are you to criticize Him? Do you really think God owes you an explanation? As if He should tailor His justice to your demands? You've rejected Him in your self pity, and you deserve the maximum sentence for that. 

Seriously, do you think that whatever you do here has any affect at all on God's sovereignty? No matter how many times you sin, how will that change who He is? On the other hand, if you live a perfect life, is that supposed to be some great gift to Him? What could you possibly give to Him that He hasn't already given to you? Wake up, dude! Your sins only affect people like yourself! And the good things you do? They only affect humans, too!

We serve a great and mighty God, and He doesn't despise anyone! God uses adversity to get people's attention, and He's causing you to suffer so that He can rescue you. He's leading you away from danger, Job! And He's going to lead you to a place in life that is free from stress, and He's setting your table with the best food. So you need to quit being so obsessed with whether He's judging scoundrels worse than you, and focus instead on glorifying Him with songs of praise. Whether you think you deserve all this or not, He makes things happen either to discipline, or to show His unfailing love.

Elihu is a bit of a mystery to me. Nowhere until now has he been mentioned in this story, never did he speak during all this bickering between Job and his three friends, and yet he has clearly been there the entire time, listening to every word. Why was he there, and where did he come from? To me, he comes across as an arrogant little snot at times, but as this story concludes, you'll see that everyone got chastised by God except for this young, mouthy kid. But most interesting of all, to me, is that God seems to interrupt and continue right where Elihu leaves off, without any apparent pause. I really don't know what to make of it, so I'll just try not to read too much into it.


Anyway, just about that time, a huge whirl-wind sprang up from out of nowhere, as is prone to happen in dry, dusty climates. If you've ever been to the desert, you know what I'm talking about. I've always called them dust devils, but I guess that's not a good term to call the phenomenon from which God spoke to Job and his friends.

God speaks: Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself, I've heard plenty from the likes of you four, now I'm going to set you straight.

Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Were you there? If you know so much, tell me, who keeps the sea inside it's boundaries? I do! Who commands the sun to rise in the east? That would be me, as well! Have you explored the depths of the oceans? Have you got any idea where the gates of death are located? Do you know where I store up all the hailstones that I will use as weapons in the end times? Are you able to direct the seasons, or to guide the Bear and her cubs across the sky? Have you discovered how to regulate the earth by the laws of the universe? 

Do you know that the ostritch lays her eggs on top of the earth, without a care in the world that someone might step on them, or some wild animal may destroy them? She treats her offspring harshly because she doesn't care if they die. God has deprived her of wisdom and understanding. But boy, can she run! I'm not an ostritch, just so you all know. 

So, do you still want to argue with Me? If you're going to be My critic, you'd better have the answers. Do you still want to discredit My justice and condemn Me, just to prove that you're right? Why is being right so important to you? When have you, or anyone for that matter, given me anything that I need to repay?

Job is humbled now. As he sits in dust and ashes to show his repentance, he responds to God.

Lord, I know that you can do anything, and I am powerless to stop you. You asked who it was that questions your wisdom with their ignorance... That would be me. I had no right to say those things, God. I didn't know what I was talking about. I had always known you were wonderful, but I lost sight of that. But now, however wonderful I once knew you were, it's nothing in comparison to how clearly I see your awesomeness now. Please, God, forgive me!

God is always faithful to forgive, and Job was no exception. But He wasn't finished. There was still the issue of Job's three fair-weather friends. He spoke again, this time directing His words to Eliphaz and his two friends, expressing His anger towards them for having not spoken right of Him. He demanded they make burnt sacrifices to Him, while Job prayed for their forgiveness. He would spare them punishment for Job's sake.


And then He blessed Job abundantely, more than ever before. Job's previous wealth was doubled. He was given 7 more sons and 3 more daughters, and He named the daughters in his will so that they, too, would have an inheritance. He lived another 140 years, and was able to enjoy four generations of his children and grandchildren before he finally died a happy old man.

***

But as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth

From the song Praise You In This Storm

by Casting Crowns

Day 38: God, I Just Want To Die!

Job 29:1-10

New Living Translation (NLT)

Leroy Allen Skalstad, Public Domain

Job Speaks of His Former Blessings

29 Job continued speaking:

² “I long for the years gone by
    when God took care of me,
³ when he lit up the way before me
    and I walked safely through the darkness.
⁴ When I was in my prime,
    God’s friendship was felt in my home.
⁵ The Almighty was still with me,
    and my children were around me.
⁶ My cows produced milk in abundance,
    and my groves poured out streams of olive oil.

⁷ “Those were the days when I went to the city gate
    and took my place among the honored leaders.
⁸ The young stepped aside when they saw me,
    and even the aged rose in respect at my coming.
⁹ The princes stood in silence
    and put their hands over their mouths.
¹⁰ The highest officials of the city stood quietly,
    holding their tongues in respect.

***

Job is beginning to sink into a very deep depression here. This was a man who had once been more than just wealthy; He had been highly respected! He was a man of action, a man of honor, a man who took up the cause of those less fortunate. Those who needed help could count on him coming to their aid. He helped orphans, and widows, he paid for medical treatment for people who were blind or lame. He provided clothing and blankets on cold winter nights to anyone who couldn't stay warm. And he wasn't afraid to jump in and physically defend someone who was getting bullied. He was admired and respected. Everybody loved to see him come, and nobody wanted to see him leave. People sought his advice because he always had words of wisdom and encouragement. Young and old, everybody loved Job.

What a difference a few months make. He had become old way beyond his years. Even though he was still probably in his 40's, he struggled to get around like a man twice that age. He couldn't go into town now without the adults turning the other way, pretending not to see him, and the young people pointing fingers and making fun of him. Now Job had lost so much weight that his skin looked like it was stretched tight over his skeleton. He was so covered with oozing sores that people were afraid to look at him. His breath was so putrid from the toxins that raged through his body that his wife was repulsed. His servants were afraid to come near him. They'd pretend they hadn't heard him ask for a blanket, or some broth, or whatever else might relieve some of his discomfort. Even in his own home, he had to beg for any kind of help.

I remember when I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry, You raised me up again

But my strength is almost gone

How can I carry on if I can't find You

(From the song I Will Praise You In This Storm) 

Maybe he would have enjoyed the company of his three friends, if they'd been nice. I think they tried. They just really didn't know what to say. They'd always known Job to be an upright man, but why would God allow all this to happen to someone who didn't deserve it? They were afraid that if they sided with him, God would find them guilty by association. So after 7 days of sitting around the house with him, saying nothing, Job finally broke the silence and said what had been burning in his mind for days. 

Face it, he whined a little. But who can blame him? I'd be doing a lot more than whining if I was in his shoes. But his friends didn't know quite how to respond! It would have been kinder had they just not.

This is a very abbreviated example of the conversations that took place. 

Job: Oh, how I wish I'd never been born. I wish that God would blot my birthday off the calendar so that the day would never be counted again. I can't stand this pain! I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can barely even breathe. I wish I would just die already.

Eliphaz: Hey, you used to be the one to make everyone else feel better when they were down on their luck. And now the moment things go wrong for you, you're ready to give up! Think for a minute. Innocent people don't die. In my experience, it's only those that plant trouble who harvest it. If I were you, I'd beg God's forgiveness and then accept His discipline without complaint. Then he would forgive you and restore your health, he'd give you a new family, and you'd live to be an old man!

Job: Oh give me a break. Walk a mile in my sandals and tell me you wouldn't have been complaining a lot sooner! I have a right to express my grief! I've lost my family, my health, and am close to losing my life! And all you can do is sit there and act like I don't know the difference between right and wrong, and assume that I have somehow brought all this on myself? You think that I'm guilty of something that needs forgiveness? I might be whining a bit, but I've never once denied God. I just don't have the strength to endure any more. I have nothing left to live for.

Bildad: Oh good grief, man, will you listen to yourself? God doesn't twist justice, ya know. Look. God won't reject a man of integrity. Whatever you've done wrong, repent and be done with it so that you can be happy again.

Job: (addressing God) God, you know me inside out! You have known me since before I was born! Why are you torturing me like this? Please, just let me die already!

Zophar: Wow, Job, you sure talk a good game. But it doesn't matter how long you babble about your innocence, you're not going to convince any of us that God is doing all this for nothing. It's pretty obvious that you're being punished far less than what you deserve! Prepare your heart, man! Lift up your hands to him in prayer and get rid of all that sin you're trying so hard to hide!

Job: Arrrgh! You guys just think you know everything! It's so easy to sit there feeling all smug because you're not me, and kick me while I'm down, isn't it? You'd all make lousy shrinks. You should all just shut your mouths instead of accusing me and saying these lies. You think that if you can pin the blame on me, you'll earn brownie points with God, don't you? What do you think God's going to do when He starts paying attention to this? You're going to be in a world of trouble. Now shut up and leave me alone, I want to tell God exactly how I feel, and if He strikes me dead for daring to say it, so be it. But at least I know that I'm still His child, and that gives me the right to go before Him.

Job: (addressing God) God! Why have you turned on me? If I've done something wrong, show me! If you don't want to show me, then at least just ignore me until you get over whatever is making you so angry. But would you pencil in a day on your calendar to be nice to me? I long for the relationship we used to have, God! But you hate me, and you seem to be taking pleasure in hurting me!

Eliphaz: Oh, dude, you are way out of line! Have you no fear? How disrespectful can you be? Your own mouth condemns you!

Job: If the table was turned, I'd be trying to encourage you and ease some of your grief. You just can't do that, can you? If I suffer in silence, you criticize me. If I try to defend myself, you accuse me. I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't.  God hates me, and you can't even be bothered to intercede and pray for me.

Bildad: You're not even making sense anymore, Job. It's getting tiresome listening to you complain. 

Job: Even if I have sinned, it's none of your business! How dare you sit there on your high horse saying it's my own fault! You should fear punishment yourself, because your attitude sucks! Then maybe you'll have an idea what judgment is. Anyway, my complaint is with God. I want to know why it is that wicked people never get what's coming to them. When I was wealthy, I used it for His glory, and look at me now! I'm young still, but I'm pathetic! Other people grow rich and think they are self-made men and don't give God a passing thought. How come they get to grow old and watch their grandchildren playing at their feet, while I don't even get to have grandchildren?

Eliphaz: Ok, I know what your sin is now! It's a lust for money! You idolize the almighty dollar! Quit longing for what you had, and submit yourself to God. Turn back to Him and you will be restored.

And so it went. I don't know why Job considered these guys his friends. They sure were rotten ones. I wouldn't want them on my cheering squad, that's for sure. 

I was slightly amused though, to see that even back then, if someone expressed their frustration to God, others saw it as disrespect. I can't count how many times I've yelled at God. The way I see it, He knows exactly what's in my heart, He hears every unspoken word. So isn't it more a sin to try to pretend you weren't thinking it, than to just say it out loud? In any case, it works for me. God lets me express myself, and then when my tantrum has run its course and I'm quieted down, He speaks. And I listen That's when He knows He has my attention. It is a true Father/child relationship. I think I'm a lot like Job.

But there was still one more guy hanging around Job's living room. So far, Elihu had kept quiet. But when I conclude my narrative about Job tomorrow, I'll fill you in on what he said, and then we'll get to the most important part of the story; God's response.

Day 37: Can We Praise Him In Our Storms?

Job 4:12-17

Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)

By Max Kurzweil [Public domain] 

          ¹² "I happened to hear a message. My ears caught a whisper of it.
¹³ Like a bad dream ^[a] in the night, it ruined my sleep.
¹⁴ It frightened me, and I trembled down to my bones.
¹⁵ A spirit passed by my face. The hair on my body stood up!
¹⁶ The spirit stood still, but I could not see what it was. A shape stood before my eyes, and there was silence.  Then I heard a quiet voice:
¹⁷ ‘A person cannot be more right than God. People cannot be more pure than their Maker.

***

The book of Job is a character study. Of whom? Certainly of Job. But perhaps it is also a character study of God. It's going to take three days to get through this book, so I'm going to do my best to write it in a way that anyone reading can relate to.

Job was a very, very wealthy man from some place called Uz. Uz is kinda like Eden in the sense that nobody seems to know exactly where it was. There are a couple of theories floating around out there, including some vague place in Arabia, and that's the one I'm going to go with. Job was from some Arab country called Uz. And he was the richest guy in town.

He was a pretty awesome guy, too, in spite of being rich. He never let it go to his head. He loved God more than life itself. He had total faith in Him, and he never ceased to praise Him for all the good things that had come his way. 

His kids, though, and there were ten of them, loved to party together. They took turns preparing huge feasts and inviting all the others. Sometimes these family gatherings, which didn't include Dad, would go on for days on end. And after each one, Job would get up early in the morning and offer a burnt sacrifice for each of them, praying for God to forgive any offense they may have caused.One day, the members of God's heavenly court presented themselves to the Lord, and in strolls Satan. When He looked up and saw him,

God asked: What are you doing here, Devil?

Satan: Oh, nothing much. I've just been wandering the earth, watching what's going on, seeing what I can stir up.

God: Did you notice my man, Job? What a great guy he is, don't ya think? Absolute integrity. The man is blameless, I'm telling ya.

Satan: That's just because you've spoiled him rotten. The man has everything! Look how rich he is! You've put bumper guards all around him so that nothing bad can touch him. He's led a charmed life. It's easy for a man to praise you when nothing bad has ever happened to him. But I bet if you took everything away from Job, he'd turn his back on you. I'd bet he would curse you right to your face!

God: Hmmm, well, we'll just see about that. Put him to the test. Do whatever you want with whatever he has, but don't lay a finger on him. Got it?

So Satan went off and did exactly that. Poor Job, it was the worst "Murphy's Law' day in the history of human existence. His fields got raided by the Sabeans, who stole all the animals and killed all the farmhands; Lightening struck, causing a fire to destroy a lot of his land, killing all the sheep and the shepherds he employed. And to top it all off, a tornado struck the home of his oldest son, killing all ten of his children who were over there partying. Devastated, Job fell to the ground, but even in his grief, he still praised God. "I came naked from my mother's womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!" Job 1:2 (NLT)

And I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm 

(From the song Praise You In This Storm)

So the next day, Satan strolls up to God in heaven again, and they pretty much repeat the previous conversation. God is well pleased with Job, because even though he had lost everything, he hadn't lost focus on God. Satan didn't think that was such a great accomplishment though.

Satan: Yeah, well, a man will do anything to save his own skin! He knew he'd better get on his knees an worship you, or he might be next! You wouldn't let me touch him personally, but I bet if You had, he'd be cursing you left and right by now!

God: Ok, Devil. Do what you will, but don't kill him. 

So off Satan goes to make Job so sick that he could only wish he were dead. Job was stricken with boils all over his body. Big, infected sores oozing with nasty, smelly pus. As he sat there in the ashes, scratching his wounds with a broken piece of pottery, even his wife urged him to curse God so that God would kill him and put him out of his misery... and hers. 

True to his nature though, Job he refused.

Job: Woman, quit talking smack! God isn't just some big sugar-daddy in the sky, ya know! He's given us so much, and the moment things start going downhill, you want to cut Him out of our lives? Well maybe you can do that, but I sure can't. He's my God!

But as the days passed, Job sank deeper and deeper into despair. Three of his closest friends came to see him, and they were so taken aback by his appearance that they were speechless. For an entire week, they sat with him in silence, unable to find words to comfort him. Time was beginning to take its toll.

***

I know I'm just barely scratching the surface here, but this is really such a natural stopping place. I'll pick up tomorrow where I'm leaving off tonight.

Day 36: A White-hot Hatred

Esther 6:6-10

New Living Translation (NLT)

Humiliated, Haman is forced to honor Mordecai

⁶ So Haman came in, and the king said, “What should I do to honor a man who truly pleases me?” Haman thought to himself, “Whom would the king wish to honor more than me?”⁷ So he replied, “If the king wishes to honor someone, ⁸ he should bring out one of the king’s own royal robes, as well as a horse that the king himself has ridden—one with a royal emblem on its head. ⁹ Let the robes and the horse be handed over to one of the king’s most noble officials. And let him see that the man whom the king wishes to honor is dressed in the king’s robes and led through the city square on the king’s horse. Have the official shout as they go, ‘This is what the king does for someone he wishes to honor!’” ¹⁰ “Excellent!” the king said to Haman. “Quick! Take the robes and my horse, and do just as you have said for Mordecai the Jew, who sits at the gate of the palace. Leave out nothing you have suggested!”

***

We're going to step back into history just a tiny bit. I really wish the canonize Bible was in chronological order, but it's not. And although I do have a chronological Bible, it's a NKJV instead of an NLT, and when I'm reading as much per day as I have to during my 90 day commitment, I need the ease of the NLT. I'm not backtracking very much though. Just a little. King Xerxes reigned during these events. He was the father of King Atexerxes, who was king who graciously allowed his cup-bearer, Nehemiah, to quit his job and return to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. So what you read about today happened before what you read yesterday.

Now, Xerxes was king over Persia, and had just recently banished Queen Vashti from the kingdom for having refused to come entertain his guests one evening during a six-month long celebration. He was a little intoxicated when he followed the advice of his counsel and sent her on her not-so-merry way, but after a while, he moved on and became quite content with his new bride, Esther.

Esther was a Jewish orphan who had been adopted and raised by her elder cousin, Mordecai. Along with many, many other girls throughout the kingdom, she had been ripped from her family during the round-up to find a new girl worthy to replace Vashti as queen. She was very beautiful, very demure, and had quickly become the favorite of the eunuch who was in charge of all the harem girls. After a year of royal schooling, she was chosen by Xerxes, and became queen. Mordecai kept tabs on how she was doing. He did have some sort of low-ranking job at the palace, and was able to communicate to the girl he'd raised through her personal eunuch.

The Prime Minister of the land, Haman, was second only to the king, and he utterly despised Mordecai. Every day, Haman would come and go, and as he would pass the palace gates, his hatred would grow towards the Jew who refused to bow down to him. As his hatred grew, it expanded beyond just the man who didn't show the proper respects, and soon encompassed the entire Jewish race. So he decided to put a permanent end to the thorn in his side, and asked the king to issue a decree allowing the annihilation of all the Jews.

When Mordecai learned of this, he went into mourning and dressed in burlap. Esther couldn't bear to see him like this, and sent her eunuch to find out what the deal was. Mordecai relayed the message to her, along with a request that she speak to the king. I'm sure she wanted to, but it's not like today when a wife can just sit down and discuss things over dinner with her husband. Even the queen was forbidden to go see the king without an invitation, and he hadn't asked her to come to him in over a month! She knew if she went to him, there was a 50% chance that he might extend his royal scepter to her and allow her to speak. There was also a 50% chance that he would not. And if he did not, the penalty was instant death.

So the eunuch took that information back to Mordecai, and he responded by saying that perhaps it was for this very reason that God put her in the position she was in. That was a sobering thought for the young queen. So she mulled it over, and then asked that Mordecai have all the Jews in Susa (the city where the palace was located) to fast and pray for three days, and she and her servants would do the same.

At the end of the three days, she gathered up her courage, and went to see her husband. Mordecai was right. God had allowed her to become queen for this very moment, and as the palace guards drew their swords to slay her, Xerxes reached his scepter out and invited her to come closer. Can you imagine her relief? Whew! He asked her what she desired, and she invited him to bring Haman and come to dinner at her place that evening.

Neither the king nor Haman were aware that she was Jewish, much less that she was related to Mordecai. They were just happy to be there. Especially Haman, it seems, who later returned to his own house bragging to all his family how he had been singled out to dine with the royal couple.  He was such a conceited jerk anyway, and thought that he was indispensable to the king. The only down side to the whole evening had been when he left the palace, and had to walk past that despicable Jew. At his family's urging, he decided to sharpen a 75' pole for Mordecai's benefit, and planned to ask the king's permission to impale his nemesis.

Meanwhile back in the palace, King Xerxes was having trouble sleeping. There's nothing like listening to a little history to put one to sleep, right? So he ordered someone to come read to him from the historical records of his reign. Little did he know that God was the one who caused his insomnia that night, or who opened the historical record to an account of one low-ranking Jewish servant who had foiled the plot of two former eunuchs who had intended to assassinate the king.

When morning came, Haran arrived at the palace ready to request the death of Mordecai. But he was interrupted by the king, with a conversation that went something like this:

King: Good morning, Haman! Hey, I have a question. If I wanted to honor someone above all else, how would I go about it?

Haman: (thinking surely the king must be wanting to know how Haman, himself, would want to be honored, since he was naturally the only logical choice.) Well, King, I think you should dress the guy up in your royal robes and parade him around on a horse that you've personally ridden!"

King: Hmmmm, great idea! Now do me a favor, go get some of my robes and one of my horses, and do exactly that for Mordecai, the Jew who sits at the palace gate!

Haman must have nearly wet his pants. How could this have happened? Why on earth would the king want to honor that sewer rat? And why did he have to open his own big mouth? Now he was going to be so humiliated, having to do this for the man he hated most of all in this world. But he did as he was told, and then cried to his wife about it later. Despite the disappointment of the day's events, I imagine he was feeling a little cheerier when he headed to the Queen's palace for a second night of being honored at her table.

Over drinks that evening, the king asked again what it is that his beloved queen is wanting. He was willing to give her anything her heart desired, up to half of the kingdom. And then she dropped the other bombshell. She simply wanted his majesty to spare her life, and that of her people because they'd been sold to the slaughter house, so to speak. Dismayed, the king demanded to know who would so such a horrible thing.

You could have heard a pin drop. The silence in that moment must have been deafening, before she quietly replied, "Haman is our adversary and our enemy."

The king exploded in a rage, and Haman went pale as a ghost. Xerxes stood up from the table and stormed out into the garden. I guess Haman started begging Esther for his life. She wasn't listening, though, and finally in desperation, he threw himself towards the sofa where she was sitting. It just happens that at that moment, the king came back into the room, and totally misconstrued Haman's action, and thought that He was trying to assault her. One shout is all it took for the king's bodyguards to rush in and throw a cloak over Haman's head, signaling his doom.

Then Harbona, one of the king’s eunuchs, said, “Haman has set up a sharpened pole that stands seventy-five feet^[a] tall in his own courtyard. He intended to use it to impale Mordecai, the man who saved the king from assassination.” “Then impale Haman on it!” the king ordered.  So they impaled Haman on the pole he had set up for Mordecai, and the king’s anger subsided. Esther 7:9-10

See, this is what happens when your hatred for someone burns completely out of control! It clouds your judgment, becomes an obsession, and you self-destruct. Especially when God has anything to say about it. And if you're hating one of His own, you can be sure He has something to say.

Oh, and by the way, Mordecai was promoted from a low ranking gate person to the new Prime Minister, all Haman's property was given to the queen, and the Jews were given permission to fight back and kill anyone who was to attack them on the day decreed for their annihilation. Fight back, they did! And with God's help, they defeated their enemies.

Day 35: In Defense of Self Defense

Nehemiah 4:14-18

New Living Translation (NLT)

Internet "poster", copyright unknown

¹⁴ Then as I looked over the situation, I called together the nobles and the rest of the people and said to them, “Don’t be afraid of the enemy! Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes!”
¹⁵ When our enemies heard that we knew of their plans and that God had frustrated them, we all returned to our work on the wall. ¹⁶ But from then on, only half my men worked while the other half stood guard with spears, shields, bows, and coats of mail. The leaders stationed themselves behind the people of Judah ¹⁷ who were building the wall. The laborers carried on their work with one hand supporting their load and one hand holding a weapon. ¹⁸ All the builders had a sword belted to their side. The trumpeter stayed with me to sound the alarm.

***

I have discovered a new appreciation for the book of Nehemiah. It's written very much like a journal. In fact, in the NLT, the subheading for the first chapter calls it his memoir. I don't really recall any other book of the Bible being written as a first person narrative. There really is a lot I could focus on, but as I read this passage, I kept thinking about how, even among Christians (maybe even especially among Christians!), the issue of self defense is hotly debated. Seriously, there are a lot of Christians out there that will come right out and state that if your home is broken into, your possessions stolen, your family brutalized, that the only defense you should use is prayer. 

Now, I'm not the expert here, and I don't claim to know God's mind, but as far as I can see, that attitude is just not Biblical! And I really believe that Nehemiah's diary illustrates this point about as well as anyone could.

Let me back up and tell a little about who Nehemiah was. He was the cup-bearer for King Artexerxes of Persia, during Ezra's time. I used to think a cup-bearer really was nothing more than a royal bartender, but the truth is, being a cup-bearer was a very important position. The king had to know you personally, and completely trust you above everyone else, to appoint you to such a position. Back then, it was pretty darn common for a king's enemies to infiltrate the ranks and slip a mickey into the king's drink to poison and kill him. The cup-bearer's job was to ensure that this didn't happen, and he would sip the wine or other drink before giving it to the king. If the cup-bearer dropped dead, the king knew not to drink it. Cheery thought, isn't it? Anyway, you can imagine that someone in that position would have to have a pretty close friendship with the king.

Still, friendliness aside, he's still a servant... an employee... a subordinate. Nobody is expendable, no matter how close they think they are. So when Nehemiah found out that the wall in his homeland was in ruins, and the gates of the city were burned, he prayed that God would grant him favor before the king when he went to ask if he could quit his job and go home. Nehemiah says he was terrified, but he asked anyway. Not only did Artexerxes agree, he agreed so graciously that he sent some of his army and horsemen as escorts, with letters to the governors of the provinces to allow him safe passage, and another letter to Asaph, the manager of the king's forest, to supply him with enough timber to fortify the city of Jerusalem and build a house for himself. 

And the king granted these requests, because the gracious hand of God was on me. Neh 2:8b

Everything Nehemiah did was right in the eyes of God, and he never failed to give God the credit when things went well for him. So, time passes, Nehemiah is firmly established as the governor over Judah, and he starts getting bullied by Sanballat and some of his Samarian army buddies from nearby nations. When the gaps in the wall had all been repaired, but only to half the original height, Sanballat and his cronies plotted to attack. Nehemiah and those working on the walls prayed again. But they didn't just pray and expect God to do all the work. They took measures to protect themselves, also!

Nehemiah placed armed guards at the low points where the wall was most vulnerable to attack and stationed people to stand guard by families, armed with the most effective weapons of the day! He instructed the people not to fear the enemy, but to trust in God, who is great and glorious, as they stood their ground to fight for their families and their homes!

Did that anger God? There's a whole lot of people, Christians included, who believe that it should have. On the contrary, the enemies of Judah realized that God had thwarted their plans by making His people prepared. Nehemiah and the people continued to work on the wall, but always on the ready to defend themselves and each other. They carried their weapons in one hand and their work-load in the other. If they needed both hands to work, they strapped swords to their belts. Never were  they unprepared. And yet Nehemiah makes clear that God was the one who would give them the power to overcome their enemies if necessary.

Then I explained to the nobles and officials and all the people, "The work is very spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall. When you hear the blast of the trumpet, rush to wherever it is sounding. Then our God will fight for us." Neh. 4:19-20

Now I'm not saying everybody needs to run right out and stock their homes with guns and ammo. If you don't know how to use a gun, you darn sure don't need one in your home, or you're liable to shoot yourself instead of an intruder.  But you should never feel as though it is a sin to protect yourself, your home, your family. As long as your focus is on God, and you're not just out there trying to justify your own revenge, then God's not only going to be ok with you protecting what's yours, even to the death by whatever means are necessary, He's going to help make sure you're successful