Day 88: The Finish Line

Image by Ambrozjo via sxc.hu

Hebrews 12:1-2

New Living Translation (NLT)

God’s Discipline Proves His Love

12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 

***

What an incredible journey these last three months have been! I feel as though I've run a marathon, and in a sense, I have. I've had a huge crowd witnessing my race as I've shared it in almost daily blog entries. 

It's amazing how much I have learned in the last twelve weeks. This isn't my first time to read through in 90 days, nor will it be my last, but it has been the most rewarding. Nearly every day as I read, a passage would stand out in my mind, nudging me, saying "share me!". I often started without a clue what to say. But as soon as I started writing, the words seemed to just fly off my keyboard. I can't count the times that I thought I knew where I was going with a topic, and I'd find myself in the exact opposite direction. In fact, one day I even wrote:

Wow, that is so not the direction I thought I was going with this!

I edited that out, but it really did get written. Funny thing, too, because I didn't think about writing it, I just did! And really, that sums up how most of these entries have come about. Almost as though I was only an instrument to get the words out, but without my own intellect being involved.

Don't take that wrong. Nothing I've written has been God-breathed like the scriptures. I'm no Moses, or David, or Matthew. I'm nobody special. And this wasn't effortless. I studied my butt off! I would usually spend an hour and a half reading scripture, but then I would also spend as much time looking up commentaries and historical  encyclopedic references. The Jewish Archival Encyclopedia was a tremendous help to me as I researched more about the people who lived in the Old Testament times.

But it's not the Biblical commentators or the historic compilers who directed my learning. The only one who gets credit for what I've learned, and the majority of everything I wrote this summer, is God. I was already convinced of that, but yesterday as I was nearing the end of the Bible, I read this scripture:

But you have received the Holy Spirit,^[a] and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit^[b] teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true—it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ. (1 John 2:27)

Amazing. At the very end, God gives me confirmation of what I already knew. It pleased me very much, because I have often considered enrolling in Bible College. There are many that offer correspondence courses these days, many at low or no cost. And I still might, eventually. But God has shown me that He is the best teacher I could ask for, and as long as He's willing to instruct me, I'm going to be willing to learn from Him.

So this isn't the end for me. I may have finished this marathon, but there are nine months between now and the time I start over. Usually I spend those nine months letting my brain rest and my spiritual walk turn to a crawl. Not this year. I have just bought two new Bibles. One is actually a 31 chapter condensed version. The major events are included intact, but the more difficult, chewy passages are pureed and processed for easy digestion into a brief summary that keeps the flow between selected portions of Scripture. It's about 500 pages long, and I'll read that for relaxation.

When I finish that, I'll begin the other new one. It is divided into 313 daily passages; Six per week, with one day of rest. I'll read more than one per day, of course, because I'll have less than 9 months to complete it. The exciting thing is, both of these new Bibles are laid out chronologically  and each is a different version. In fact, they are both different versions than what I've been reading from. By this time next year, I will have read the entire Bible a total of 5 times in my life, in as many different versions. (Or are they translations? I can never really remember what the difference is.)

By setting these goals and committing to them, I am sure to stay more grounded in the Word than I have done in the past. I am so looking forward to drawing closer to Jesus and understanding God's ways more completely as He continues to guide me. It will be like spiritual weight lifting. Each day my faith will get stronger, and my endurance will improve. 

I hope you've all been blessed by what I've learned and shared here in the last 90 days. But please remember, the best teacher is the Holy Spirit. You can always trust what He says. You can only take my word with a grain of salt. 

I'll continue to blog as I go, although my entries will be less frequent. Those who have followed me over the last several months can continue to do so. I'll always post them on Facebook and on Google+. But now is the time for me to slow down on writing and focus on my family, and on making jewelry. If you've been following me here, I encourage you to subscribe to email notifications on my jewelry website, www.earthpsalts.com. Pray for that endeavor, please! I need to generate a small but steady source of income from my jewelry.

I will also be compiling what I've written here into a real book in the coming months, edited and polished, and possibly with content that I have not included in my blog.. My primary reason is so that I can share it with family members. I want my children and my grandchildren to have copies. I didn't do the greatest job teaching my children about the love of Christ as they were growing up. If God allows, I would love to have the chance to do better with my grandkids. Through my book, I hope that will be possible. If you would like a copy of it when it is available in paperback, please leave a comment here. I'll be able to sell them directly for a lower price than what they'll retail at on Amazon.

For now, I'd like to leave you all with one final Scripture:

Jude 1:24-25

New Living Translation (NLT)

A Prayer of Praise

²⁴ Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault. ²⁵ All glory to him who alone is God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord. All glory, majesty, power, and authority are his before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time! Amen.

Day 1: Innocence Lost

The first year I did this, i used the s.o.a.p. format to journal through. not this year. i'm going to be a little less structured in my note taking, and just write about what really stood out to me each day. of course, i may not always post an entry, because sometimes life gets in the way. this really is very time consuming. my typical routine is to wake up, turn on some praise and worship music on pandora and spend about 30 minutes waking up to God's grace, and then delve into the day's reading. you might ask how much reading that is every day, and the answer is roughly 12 pages. the official schedule is exactly 12, but i don't like stopping mid-chapter, so i tend to read on through a little further. if i don't stop to eat in the middle, it takes about an hour. there may be days that i will split the reading into a morning and evening portion. after i read, if time permits, i write my notes while it's still fresh in my mind.

Art by Wolfgang Sauber, used with permission

so let's get to it, shall we? i always read from my NKJV Bible, but i will often quote from other versions, such as below, i'm using the NLV for my notes. 

today i read the first 16 chapters of genesis. here's what struck me most...

Genesis 3:4-5, 16

New Living Translation (NLT)

4 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. 5 “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”

New Living Translation (NLT)

16 Then [God] said to the woman,

“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,    and in pain you will give birth.And you will desire to control your husband,    but he will rule over you.[a]”

Genesis 4:7, 13

New Living Translation (NLT)

7 You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.”

13 Cain replied to the Lord, “My punishment[a] is too great for me to bear!

The loss of innocense always begins with temptation. in eden, the serpant came and taunted eve, enticing her to eat of the fruit that God had forbidden to them. once she caved in and ate, (and sharing with adam), their spiritual eyes were opened and they were able to see right and wrong. as part of God's reaction to their disobedience, God told eve that she would from then on try to control her husband... but that the husband should rule over her. and in a godly marriage, that's still true today. the head of the house should be the husband... but oh, how we wives tend to want to be in control.

later, after eve's sons gave offerings to the Lord, cain got angry because his offering wasn't good enough. why was that? probably because cain only 'gave an offering of the fruits" and abel gave an offering of the first of the fruits. my guess is that cain gave God what was left over after he'd used what he wanted for other purposes. God doesn't like leftovers. 

so God asks cain why he's so glum, and reminds him that we're always going to be tempted. sin is always going to be there to taunt us, and to try and control us, but that we have to stand up and kick sin in the teeth and rule over our sinful nature. 

i added verse 13 just because it was the first biblical example of whining about the consequences. cain's response to God was pretty much "that's not fair!" of course it's fair! you screwed up... what do you want, a medal? how often do people break the laws and then want to lay the blame elsewhere. they don't want to face the punishment for their actions. they'll blame it on someone else, or on a crappy childhood even. but ya know, it doesn't matter how crappy our childhood is. we have choices. and when we make right choices, we sure do want the credit for making them! it's only fair that when we make wrong choices, we own them, too, no matter how hard the lesson is.

Day 3 Genesis 29-40

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scripture:

Genesis 39:20-24 (New King James Version)

Joseph interpreting dreams in prison

20 Then Joseph’s master took him and put him into the prison, a place where the king’s prisoners were confined. And he was there in the prison. 21 But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him mercy, and He gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison. 22 And the keeper of the prison committed to Joseph’s hand all the prisoners who were in the prison; whatever they did there, it was his doing. 23 The keeper of the prison did not look into anything that was under Joseph’s authority,[a] because the LORD was with him; and whatever he did, the LORD made it prosper.

observation:

being poorly treated, spitefully entrapped, and wrongly imprisoned seems to have been a recurring theme in joseph's life. but instead of letting that make him bitter, joseph submitted himself to God in spite of his circumstances, and as a result, God gave joseph what some would call a "midas touch".

application:

i wonder if joseph ever, even for a moment or two, allowed himself to indulge in anger towards the spiteful snots that caused him so much trouble? did he ever feel hatred towards his brothers for having thrown him first in a pit, then selling him into slavery? did he ever want to call potiphar's wife a hateful name after she lied and had him thrown in prison? i'll admit, it's a struggle for me not to write a hateful name about her, and i didn't even live back then!

but there's a big lesson i should learn from joseph's life. and in my head, i already know this! nothing good comes out of being angry. when you allow yourself to get consumed by emotion, that's all you can see... yourself. you sure can't see God through the haze of fury. you can't accomplish anything to make your situation better if you're ticked off all the time.

why do i forget that so often?

when we get out of our own pity party and turn our eyes back to Jesus, our sorrow can turn to joy. or even if it doesn't turn exactly into joy, it can sure seem brighter than the doom and gloom we feel when we're mad. and when we focus on doing our best for Him, in spite of our circumstances, it doesn't go unnoticed! He starts pouring out His blessings on us.

prayer:

Lord, i get awfully self-centered a lot. i frequently remind myself that i'm working for your glory, not my own paycheck... and that i should be doing it without complaint and certainly without being a bad witness. and most of the time, when i remind myself of that, i start doing a much better job! but that doesn't seem to apply to me when i'm at home. i don't do my best for you right here where it counts. i'm not always a good witness to my husband, or to our housemate. and the stuff that needs to be done around here, i tend to do half-way. i need some improvement in those areas, Lord. i know i do. but... i'm not going to ask right this moment for you to teach me how to improve! i'm just going to stop for a minute and say thanks that i HAVE a husband, and a beautiful home. you really have blessed me. for what, i'm not sure, but i am thankful. and i'm going to try to show a little more appreciation to you for what you've given me.

Day 2: Gen 17-28

Scripture: 
Genesis 22:9-17 (New King James Version)

Rembrandt's depiction of the sacrifice 

9 Then they came to the place of which God had told him. And Abraham built an altar there and placed the wood in order; and he bound Isaac his son and laid him on the altar, upon the wood. 10 And Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.
11 But the Angel of the LORD called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!”
So he said, “Here I am.”
12 And He said, “Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.”
13 Then Abraham lifted his eyes and looked, and there behind him was a ram caught in a thicket by its horns. So Abraham went and took the ram, and offered it up for a burnt offering instead of his son. 14 And Abraham called the name of the place, The-LORD-Will-Provide;[a] as it is said to this day, “In the Mount of the LORD it shall be provided.”

15 Then the Angel of the LORD called to Abraham a second time out of heaven, 16 and said: “By Myself I have sworn, says the LORD, because you have done this thing, and have not withheld your son, your only son— 17 blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your descendants shall possess the gate of their enemies.

Observation: 
what strikes me about this passage is two-fold... not only is abraham 100%, unwavering in his obedience to the Lord, but he has raised his son to be equally as obedient, even when asked to do the most unimaginable thing!

Application:
This passage has always, my entire life, troubled me. what if i were in abraham's shoes? could i have trusted God enough to provide an alternative and spare me from what He asked? would i be so obedient as to strap my child down on an alter and raise a knife above her chest? (and have i raised my daughters to be so trusting and obedient? no, my kids would have knocked me six ways to sideways and taken off for the hills.)

i'd like to think that i could say yes, i'd be so obedient, and so faithful. heck, i'd like to even use the excuse that "nobody really knows what they would do in that situation, we just have to thank God that He would never ask such a thing of us". i remember my mom used to say something similar when i'd ask about being totally obedient to God in certain circumstances.

but i'm without excuse. i KNOW the answer. i would not be so obedient. i'd be bawling and screaming and throwing a major temper tantrum before the Lord and in the end i'd tell him forget it, find someone else. my obedience would have gone only so far as to get to the destination and build an altar. and then i'd have sat there. and sat. and sat. but not in my wildest dreams can i imagine being so obedient that i would be willing to put my child on that altar. i would not have the kind of faith that God would stay my hand and provide a suitable offering at the last minute. 

i would fail the test.

Prayer:
God, i can't even begin to say how sorry i am that i'm so stubborn, and that my faith and trust in you is so shaky at times. i guess i don't get any brownie points for honesty, but God, i can tell you this much... i'm extremely thankful that your grace and mercy cover my weaknesses. and i do really want to become more trusting, more faithful, and more obedient to you! teach me to trust you more, Father, but please, let my tests be a little less gut-wrenching than abraham's was.